It seems like an age ago when I first learned about Project Trust. It was just before the summer of 2009 , an ex volunteer came round to our school and gave a small presentation to the year group. She showed us PT's promotional video and at that moment I was sold. To me PT offered exactly what I was looking for. A meaningful year out of formal education in an exotic country doing something I loved. The video features an interview with a volunteer just back from Outward Bound Hong Kong. He talks about the amazing time he's had and all the brilliant things he's done. He says he had received training throughout the year and by the end was working full time as an instructor, leading sailing, kayaking and hiking courses. He said he was working with young disabled and disadvantaged kids. It was at that moment completely certain thats what I wanted to do with my year.
The 5 day selection course on Coll not only confirmed my decision, but built my enthusiasm, excitement and expectations sky high. I had an amazing week on selection. I met some fantastic people and made some new friends, visited a truly beautiful and stunning island and realised what lay ahead. I was convinced I was going to have the year of my life, and if my year had gone anything like selection had gone then I would have. I completely trusted PT and there was no doubt in my mind that they would organise a fantastic project for me. They came across as a very well organised and very friendly group of people. I trusted completely that I was in good hands with them and that they would have a very well organised and supported gap year for us.
After my place was confirmed I, like all PT volunteers began fundraising. I wrote off hundreds of letters to charities across the UK explaining what I was doing and requesting they support me. I told them that I would not only be learning a great deal about life and how to look after myself, but that I would also be benefiting people in Hong Kong. I was told by PT that at OBHK I would be helping disabled and disadvantaged kids on courses, this was one of the main points under which I fundraised. I received a great deal of the 4850 pounds from charities and even more from friends and family. I ran two fundraising events, one of which raised me 2000 pounds. The rest of the money was paid by me. I worked all season at Port Edgar and almost all that I earned went to PT to pay off the final amount.
Working at Port Edgar seemed as well a perfect way to raise the final money and to spend my last summer before departure. Now looking back on it though Port Edgar may have been a bad thing, if only because it grew my confidence even higher. From day one there I was treated with respect. I was an instructor and and equal member of staff. My skills were respected and even celebrated. I was given responsibility and in return I gave maturity and gave the job all my effort and enthusiasm. I loved it. Of course there were bad days, there were bad jobs to do, but the good times more than made up for it. Of course, I was payed a very good wage for my age which did help also. At Port Edgar I had a couple of serious moments, but these only further boosted my confidence and self esteem. I saved a student who was trapped under an upturned catamaran, and managed to keep my calm and distract my kids when a suicide jumper fell from the bridge nearby. By the end of my time at Port Edgar my confidence was at an all time high. It was probably the happiest time of my life, I felt like I could do anything and be whatever I wanted to be. Ahead of me was this fantastic opportunity, and never for one moment did I think it would turn out the way it has. I was ready to grasp it with both hands, and to give my all to make this the best year of my life. I think leaving behind friends and family is always hard, but for this I knew it's what I wanted to do. I knew I was ready to leave and ready to be myself and live on my own.
Training was the first indication that all would not go to plan. The first thing we were told once we arrived was that we needed to go and see John as soon as possible in a rather dramatic voice. He explained that things at OBHK had changed and that we would no longer be able to instruct. That due to an incident in the spring they had reviewed their safety policies and no-one under 21 would be allowed to instruct. He had received an updated job description from the staff manager Lars which gave a rather vague indication of what we would be doing when we got here. At this point we were asked to decide whether or not we would still like to go through with the project or if we would like to transfer to another. Unfortunately there were no other options at Outward Bound schools, and none that really fitted what I had signed up for. I was left with a choice, go ahead with a project that we were a little unsure of or give up on Project Trust altogether. By this stage it was only 4 weeks before departure and I had already raised most of my money. I had spent the last year preparing for going to Hong Kong, getting exited. I had spent countless hours on the computer and reading guidebooks about Hong Kong and by this stage my heart really was set on coming here. All in all I don't think I really had much of a choice. By that stage I had committed. So I bit my lip and said what I had to.
The other half of training was spent meeting my partner for going oversees. All in all PT did a brilliant job in pairing Sean and I. I couldn't really have asked for someone better and through all that has happened we have become great friends. We have shared some amazing experiences together and I really hope once this is all over we can still keep in touch.
A week before departure I received an urgent phone call from my PT desk officer Nadia to say that she had just realised I hadn't sent in my hepatitis B vaccination certificate. I had been to the doctor several months previously to get advice on all the vaccinations I would need for coming here. At the time he told me that I would not need hepatitis B, I trusted his judgement and left it at that. This would prove to be a fatal mistake. I then spent the last week before departure getting a rushed course of the vaccination to get me ready for leaving. I was not told at any point that the vaccination was for my visa, and I was still under the impression that everything relating to my visa was in hand. I assumed that the vaccination was a requirement of OBHK and that it was unrelated to the visa application. In some ways I blame myself for being too trusting. At this stage I still trusted that Project Trust would have everything under control and that it would have no consequences on the rest of my year. I was also wrong to trust my doctor, but at the time it just seemed natural to trust his judgement on all maters relating to my vaccinations. Even by departure I still had no idea there would be any problems.
So together Sean and I set off for Hong Kong. I felt a mix of terror and excitement as I left the UK. I was so scared about leaving everyone and everything I loved behind. But so exited about finally doing what I had spent so much of the last year planning and obsessing over. Our first day at OBHK wasn't exactly a great indication of things to come. I remember the very first thing that happened was that we were shouted at for wearing flip flops, which I now know is against OBHK rules. It wasn't exactly the best way of explaining it to us though. We spent the first half hour at OB waiting around for Lars to come and greet us. Little did we know this would be the first of hundreds of half hours we would spend sitting around waiting for things to happen here. Lars took us to see Ivan, who was responsible for sorting out our visas. He gave us the next bombshell. He said that they hadn't even applied for our visas yet, and that he might be able to send it off in the next few days. He told us that it normally takes a month for visa applications to be processed, and that we wouldn't be able to work or do any training until they arrived.
At the time I don't think the consequences of this quite hit me. I was just so overwhelmed with arriving in this new amazing city and I just wanted to get out and explore it. In some ways I was happy that we would get time to do just that. After a few weeks though it started to get a bit ridiculous. We were very quickly burning through money, and although we were doing some awesome things and having some amazing experiences much of the time we had nothing to do and were just sitting around passing the time. I also didn't expect that we wouldn't receive our allowance for this first month. As I understood it we would be payed a $2000 per month Stipend that would help to cover our living expenses. I didn't think, and still don't think that a stipend is dependant on whether or not you work. At the time I was furious that we weren't being payed, but both OB and PT refused to pay us.
Now I didn't come here for the money. I could get payed more in two days at Port Edgar than I get in a month here. But I at least expect to have enough money to feed myself and occasionally enjoy a night out.
My argument was that firstly the delay in the visas wasn't my fault, that I was given advice by my doctor that I wouldn't need this vaccination, and that if it was so crucial PT should have picked up on it before a week prior to departure. Lars later said in a meeting that OB expected all the documentation including out vaccination record in by March, so it seems ridiculous to me that I would only be told there was a problem in the last week of August. The other argument I used was that even if it was my fault that I didn't get my vaccination in time no-one told us that this would lead to a delay in the visa. If at any point someone from OB or PT had gone to the trouble of properly explaining what was happening to me I would have told them not to send me out so early. I would never have chosen to come out here and have a months unpaid holiday using up almost half the money I had saved for travelling at the end of my year. All in all I think this whole problem can be put down to a complete lack of communication between OB and PT. Nadia later revealed that PT had been unaware we didn't have visas until the day before our departure. At no point have I received and apology for this cock up from either PT or OB. Although blame for this can be placed on all three sides I have to point my finger at Project Trust. Ultimately it is they who are responsible for sorting out my visas and making sure everything is properly prepared for my departure. I have fundraised a vast amount of money for them to get these things right and they managed to make a complete disaster out of it. If I had wanted a months holiday in Hong Kong I could have arranged it myself, and for considerably less money. I don't agree for a second that Project Trust are not responsible if Outward Bound didn't tell them there was a problem, PT should have been on top of this and should have checked that everything was in order before our departure.
Anyhoo, I hoped that this would be the last of our troubles, but when our visas did finally come through the argument about our stipend was still raging and both Sean and I had run out of money. To activate Hong Kong work visas you must leave the country and then return, to do this we would have to go to Macau, an hours ferry journey away. At the time we said that we could not afford to go to Macau until we got payed. Lars said that he would give us the money from his own pocket and that we could pay him back when the dispute was resolved. We didn't accept as it wasn't really a solution to our problem. I wanted the whole pay situation to resolved properly by Project Trust and for us to receive the money I still feel we are owed. Lars later said this amounted to us refusing to work, and blamed this for some of the problems we've been having at work. I don't feel Project Trust or Lars were particularly good at resolving this situation, Lars seemed to show none of the sensitivity or compassion I would expect from our host and staff manager and Project Trust just seemed more intent on blaming us for the problem than actually doing their job and sorting it out. Eventually PT agreed to reimburse us for the cost of the ferry. This seems like a bit of a pointless gesture considering the ferry was only $300 and I believe we are owed $2800. And so it continues...
These two problems formed the complete disaster that was the first month of our project.
This was only the beginning though. We were then thrown straight into working on courses without any training relating to the work we were doing. We were placed with other international instructors. Unfortunately no one had gone to the trouble of explaining our situation to them. They didn't have a clue what we allowed to or capable of doing. This at times led to a lot of friction between us and some of the staff we were working with. Also as we had not received any training or observed any courses we didn't really have a clue what was going on for the first few courses. No one had explained to us either exactly what we were allowed to do. I don't mind being thrown in at the deep end sometimes, but when it ruins my reputation, creates a mountain of extra work for the already overworked other instructor and directly affects the quality of the course it is not appropriate or beneficial. Over the last few weeks we have learned how to do much of the job ourselves. But there are still tonnes of things we are not allowed to do.
We are not allowed to participate in any water activities unless there are less than 12 kids in our group (which only very rarely happens). So from the step down at training saying we would not be trained as instructors it was another huge slap in the face to be told we would not be allowed to do water activities even as an observer. In practice what this means is that we meet our new group on the monday and spend the first day or two getting to know them. Generally at this point we have some respect from the kids. Then we spend the next two days of the course folding leaflets or something while they all go out and enjoy the water activities. Not only is it a huge disappointment for us not being able to take part in the water sessions, but it is also quite embarrassing. The kids ask us why we are not allowed to go out and it's hard to know what to say.
So to address some of these issues we arranged to have a meeting with Lars, and Project Trust agreed to send our oversees rep Polly. In this meeting and the follow up meeting a week later it was explained to us a bit more about what our situation is and what might happen over the rest of the year. It was made perfectly clear to us that there would be no development in our role here and we would not earn any more responsibility or respect as the year progresses. The main issue discussed was acting as observers during water sessions. Although they agreed that we might be able to do this with the appropriate training they also said that we would not be able to receive training until well into the new year, by this time we will have moved on from running these types of course and it will no longer really be an issue. They also made it clear that we would not be allowed to take part in any of the sea kayaking or ketch sailing courses. They also went further in these meeting by saying that at no point should we be responsible for the group and that they don't want us working without direct supervision at any point. It's ok for the group to be left unsupervised during free time but it's not ok for us to run games with the group on our own. It is also one of our responsibilities to do night time supervision for up to 64 kids. So we can be responsible for 64 screaming kids for a whole night but can't be responsible for our own group of 12 at any point during the day. If anything this meeting seemed to make the situation worse.
The other thing discussed the reasons for us receiving no training. Lars said that it was our fault we received no training because we didn't have our visas on time and that he had scheduled us to do training the week after we arrived but because we didn't have visas we couldn't do it. He also said that the training department is too busy to give us training now and that we wont be able to receive it until next year. To be honest I think if OB wasn't so bureaucratic about it's training they might have been able to get another member of staff to run through the things we might need to do on course and at least have given us some idea of what to expect rather than just throwing us in at the deep end. He seemed pretty merciless in blaming us for this problem despite the fact that it was OB who didn't apply for our visas until after our arrival.
It seems it's not only Sean and I having a hard time at OBHK. The other international staff that arrived at the same time as us are also feeling pretty terrible about their time here. The whole organisation seems unable to satisfy the staff and address the problems they are having. From the constant logistical cock ups on course to the terrible lack of communication from the middle management the whole place seems to be driving otherwise calm and professional outdoor instructors to the end of their wits. Every week since I have arrived the end of course staff debrief has been filled with complaints and feedback from the international staff and so far none of these complaints seem to have been addressed. The same problems still seem to be happening week after week. At this weeks debrief nothing was said, the staff just don't care any more and are simply counting down the days until they can leave. The course this week has been pretty shoddy to say the least. We are currently on our third week straight without a day off, and last week we worked 100 hours. The staff were like zombies, and the general atmosphere around the centre was at an all time low.
Outward Bounds policies on all aspects of staff life seem to leave everyone with something to complain about. Currently 12 staff are living a very cramped and rat infested part of the the centre and meanwhile there are 2 large comfortable rooms unoccupied in my flat. An ex Alaskan sea kayak expedition leader has been told that he is not qualified enough to use a sea kayak at OBHK. The whole place doesn't seem to value staff morale particularly high in it's agenda. I gathered from one of the notices in the staff room that one of the goals for this year is to increase staff retention, but I find it hard to believe that any of the new batch of staff are going to be willing to stay after the way they have been treated here. You might be thinking this is all a little irrelevant to my situation, but it's true that this place works as a team. And when general team moral is as low as it is, it's hard to see it differently. This is not a happy place to work. Every day becomes a mission. For two months now we have been struggling through trying to find a light at the end of the tunnel and trying every day to find a reason get up and go back to work.
I do truly love Hong Kong, it is an amazing city and I really would love to stay here for the rest of the year. But OBHK is doing my head in, and I have decided I am going to leave and return to the UK.
This was meant to be an enjoyable year for me. So far it has just been one disappointment after another. The work is not at all satisfying or enjoyable. I have virtually no responsibility and no prospect of job development throughout the year. And I don't feel like I am really benefiting anyone here. So far we have only been teaching ultra rich kids, and from what I have been told we wont be involved in the few courses they run for disadvantaged kids later in the year.
I have gone from the joy of working at an organisation that respected me to the reality of working at an organisation where I feel like little more than a slave. My confidence has been shattered, and now I feel as if I have wasted my year my time and my money. This is one of the most important years of my life and I refuse to waste it being run into the ground by an organisation that has so far only wasted my time and money and made me feel like a complete idiot in the process. It is clear that Project Trust have no solutions to the problem and are more interested in preserving the “special relationship” they have with OBHK than our wellbeing. Quite frankly I couldn't care less if Project Trust volunteers have been coming here for forty years. This place has changed. PT keep telling us what a “world renowned” organisation this is, well I think if it continues as it is, this place will earn a world wide reputation as somewhere to avoid!
The only way I can regain control of this year and make it a positive experience is by coming home and choosing something better to do. I am sad that it has come to this, but I am broken. I am at the end of my patience and have nothing more to give to this. I am both physically and mentally exhausted. I have no more patience for the arguments and false promises that both PT and OB keep giving us. My decision is final. I am leaving.
I feel as if PT have failed us, and as if I have failed myself. I was stupid to trust this organisation with my money and time without actually entering into a written contract with them. They don't really guarantee to provide anything for us and don't seem to have much of a concern that they have screwed us over. Throughout all their bickering with OB they seem to have forgotten that we are still out here, and it is us that are suffering. I think they feel that as they are a charity they can't make quick and decisive decisions and that they have to consider everything for weeks at a time before acting on it. I don't think this policy is really compatible with having people oversees in situations like ours.
A good friend of mine is currently accepted to go oversees with Project Trust and I don't really know what to say to her. I think PT does still have a pretty good track record with volunteers. In fact, almost everyone else I know seems to be having a good time. But it only takes one failure to ruin someones gap year and make me feel as I do now.
Over these last 3 months I have learned so much about myself and so much about this amazing country. I am so much more patient now, and I do have a much greater appreciation of how to look after myself. I do feel as though I have truly gained my independence and I will take that with me wherever I choose to spend the rest of my year. I will choose to remember these times for all the fun we had. All the fantastic new friends we met. And for this amazing city, I will certainly have to return here at some point and might even choose to live here in later life. But at the moment the bad stuff is still looming over us, and I just want to get away from here as fast as possible.
I hope all those who gave me money and have followed my story out here with interest understand why I am returning. And although i'm sure there will be those who disagree it is not them who have to live here and feel the way I do. I intend to return as soon as possible and start job hunting. I would like to head to the Alps and do a ski season there and I may have an interview in a few weeks regarding a job there.
